Pocket Aces

Mea culpa.

This has been the lamest blog on the whole Internet this past week. Mucho apologies to all my imaginary readers! The thing is this: I have been spending most of my blogging time for the past many days taking care of actual business. Like, I used to have this career, and I am taking steps to go back to it, at least on a part-time basis. I know, CRAZY! I don't know why I would even consider such a thing. And yet, there it is. It will continue to consume my computer time a bit for the next few weeks, but I promise to come give the blog some big ol' french kisses as much as I can.

And I WILL be posting for Old Photo Tuesday today. Just as soon as I find a photo....

Rolling the fortune cookies.

Well, yes, it does. But I don't really see that as a juicy fortune. Let's see if we can do better, hmm?

Um, that's not what I really had in mind.

YES! It's like the cookie sees into my soul.

Speak to me, O Fortune Cookie. I await further orders.

The weiner!

Well, the force is indeed strong in SyburJedi (who has obviously been studying, and I am very proud), and I do like my answers detailed when I can get 'em that way, but Kate was first and was right enough for me. My title from last night's post is from a Beatles song - "Good Morning, Good Morning", of course. Besides, that sneaky SJ has already seen most photos that I have to offer, and could probably do without my love/devotion as well.

So, Kate, it's all you! While I admire your tenacity in requesting cars and vacations, do go back and read the fine print on this mammoth contest that you chose to enter. Until I am as big as P-Dub, there will be no gift cards, no Wiis, no otherwise awesome prizes. Just me and my lame free shit. Congratulations! Hey, I bet you can't wait to come back and play again. If it makes you feel any better, just think about the thousands of people you beat to the answer, and how pissed they all are.

So what's it going to be? You can have my love and devotion, which will translate into me posting effusively nice things about you every day for a week and linking you non-stop so all my non-readers can become your non-readers too. (Hey, non-readers are awesome because they are motivating, yet not too demanding and they will never send you hate mail.)

OR!!!!

I'll snap a picture of anything you request (that is within my power, of course. I mean, Brad Pitt was here but he left yesterday, and is too tied up with that other "family" to come back and pose in my bed. Again. So be reasonable here, please.) and post it here on the 'ol blog. You want to see what color I paint my toenails? Done. You want to see the pile of laundry on my dining room table? Much as it pains me, I will leave it there long enough to get a picture for you. You want me to bake an apple pie, then take a picture of it? Ok doke. Just name it.

Oh! And funny that you mention Boden. I LOVES me some Boden. In fact, I have been looking out my front window all day eagerly awaiting a bunch of adorable stuff I ordered last week. Damn that England! Why does it have to be so far away?!

I've got nothing to say, but it's ok.

Not that it matters, because it's not like I'm letting millions of readers down or anything, but I seem to have lost my verbal mojo this week. I just don't have anything to say. Would you like to hear about my laundry, and how worried we all are that my dining room table will become its permanent home? Or perhaps you'd like to hear about some food. I've cooked some great stuff the past few days, but I have taken no pictures of any of it, because I have decided to boycott my kitchen lighting scheme, and what good is talking about food when you can't see it? That's just lame.

No, wait, I've got it. You'd like to hear about how Riley still will eat next to nothing, and how we are very excited that he allowed a Pop-Tart to pass his lips, and we say screw the healthy shit, AT LEAST IT'S NOT A PANCAKE. Yes? Well, ok. Now you've heard about it.

At least tomorrow is Old Photo Tuesday, so that's a nice little built-in topic I've provided myself. So we're guaranteed a photo, and I'll probably string together a few consonants and vowels to go with it. Can't promise they'll make any sense, though.

Oh! I know! Make sure you check out the top two latest additions to the "Timewasters" sidebar. They will complete and enrich your life. Fully. And completely. And richly. I promise.

Oh again! Just curious if anybody gets what I am referencing in my title. Anyone? First person to tell me in the comments gets my... hmmm... undying love and devotion. Yeah, that's totally useful, and you'll love it. Or maybe you won't, because I'm just guessing here, but it's highly unlikely but a teensy bit possible that I am annoying when I have decided to be fully devoted. And undying. Maybe you wouldn't really like that at all. But hey! You get to make the call! If you don't want the love/devotion thing, you can request that I take a photo of anything you want, and I will comply and send it to you. (Er, ok, be aware that the dirtiest I am willing to go here is a filthy picture of my feet. Ok doke?) Is that weird? Well, whatever. I'm doing it anyway.

Now, go away. I see my mojo sulking in the corner, and I must go woo her with bacon and Nutty Bars.

Catching up.

Remember back when I talked about the Great Interview Experiment? Well, after dragging my feet and overthinking my answers for way too f-ing long, I finally finished! The lovely Kate has posted my interview over at her blog, sweet potato pie. Go read it! Then come back here. It was fun, and I now feel like a superstar, even if I actually sounded like an idiot. (I did, didn't I? Don't tell me if I did. Let me have my delusions.)

On to other business... I did not forget Old Photo Tuesday. I simply had a more important topic to discuss today. The pictures of my daughter's birthday are technically old, so let's just count that, hmmm? I actually have many things to blather on about here this week, which is so unlike most of the time when I sit and stare at a blank screen and then end up talking about scrapbooking. Now, I know that my proclamation of potential future blathering has all 2 of my readers on the edge of their seats, waiting to see what brilliance (read: dumbassery) comes spilling out of my fingertips next. But I am going to do what any smart lady would do - I am going to leave you hanging. I'm sure you'll forgive me eventually.

I'm not dead yet!

The plague, it hath gotten me. After a week of pretending like I am not sick, today was the day to just be sick already. In the hopes that the plague will be happy to be acknowledged, and can now go about attacking another house. Do you think it works that way? I'm holding out hope.

In other news... nope, no other news. I actually made dinner - a really good dinner, even - and took a few pictures of it. Marc said, "I can't believe I have to wait to eat my dinner so you can take some damn pictures of it!".  He is the most supportive person EVER. (Ok, generally he is supportive when he is not hungry.)  Hey, maybe I'll post those pictures I took! Wouldn't that be revolutionary?! The thing is, I often find myself downstairs at the computer realizing I left the CF card upstairs in the camera, or I'll be upstairs wanting to take a picture of something cute the kids are doing, and I realize I left the CF card down in the computer. Can't win on this one, it seems.

Well, I must go deflate my head now.

Where I manage to make content about no content.

Because I know there are thousands (no, MILLIONS) of you out there salivating for new content, I feel obliged to post that I will not be posting - that is, I will be using my allotted blogging time this morning working on continuing to move pictures over from the old blog and then page design.  So no funny stories, no chili pictures (yet).  We can all act like you never even saw these words.  Ok doke?

What's happening at 11:18 PM, you ask?

Well, I'm making a little scrapbook, which is what I've been spending many late night evenings on of... late. It's a blatant ripoff of this idea, which originated here.  I'm totally not a journal-keeping kind of girl, and where everyone else will write little daily things they are grateful for, I will shoot for weekly.  But I do plan on adding some photos.  And mostly I'm just happy putting all my paper together, different colors and sizes and it's all crazy.  So, it's possible I'll finish punching all these holes and lining things up and then I'll just put it up on my shelf without ever writing a word.  That would be sad, but I guess I have to acknowledge it could easily happen.

I'm feeling pretty uninspired on the word front, so I am reduced to talking about my scrapbooking.  Let's hope that doesn't happen too often.  Next thing you know, I will be blogging about what we had for dinner. (Actually, that's exactly what's going to happen in my next post. Rein in your excitement!)

Back to the book, and to singing along with Rhapsody. How many times is it ok to listen to "Private Eyes" before you start to have a problem? 

A little action on the side.

So the thing is, I'll be doing this blog in TypePad from now on.  I've got my account, and even a mini-something going over there already, nothing worth seeing of course, but it will all be exported/imported/whatever it needs to be and TypePad will allow me to "map my domain" right on back over here.  Sweetness abounds. I'll have to figure out when I'm going to do that, the moving and the switching, and in the meantime I may just post this in both places.  I don't know if that will mess things up really - if it will be like, what if? when I merge my blog? The two posts with the same name meet, and size each other up, and decide one must be the evil twin of the other, and so one must die. Which one will it be? And I'll be standing there, with the gun in my hand, unsure what to do, while they both plead with me that they are my one and only true post. And then, after many tears and gnashing of teeth, we'll all realize that one post isn't evil after all... they are merely separate representations of the two sides of my brain. Embarrassed at the whole tooth-gnashing thing, we'll all go have a beer, then the posts will merge as they were meant to.

I know this can happen, as it happened to Xander on Buffy. Sorta.

It's not Movable Type's fault, really.  While I knew it was a platform for People Who Know Shit, I figured it would at least come with the basic functionality that I needed while I worked to join the Club of PWKS. Alas, it doesn't. It really seems to assume you want to build a website from scratch, which is great for those PWKS, but I wanted to be able to change the color of my background and add a links sidebar and MAKE A LINK OPEN IN A NEW WINDOW without having to get another damn degree.  I've got 2 already, thanks.  But what the folks at SixApart are doing for me is giving me MT's hipper, smarter younger sister who spends more time at parties than at the library while effortlessly maintaining just the type of grades she needs - why, just like me!  My kind of girl, that Typepad. And so it shall be.

Sigh. I've gotten out of posting pictures, and that sucks, as it was one of the main reasons I wanted to do this blog. But, and not to beat a dead horse, MT just makes it such a pain and my brain is full and I can't take it anymore.  So pictures will have to wait. You will just have to imagine my cute kids, and how they looked on Christmas morning, and while you're at it you can imagine me gnashing my teeth, if you can stand it. And if that image was too much (it was, wasn't it?) well, there's nothing I can do to help you now.  Sorry 'bout that.

Hello, I am a dummy. Nice to meet you.

So, I have to make this whole separate entry for my text to go with the video I embedded in the previous post.  Why, you ask?  Because I don't know anything about HTML except what it stands for (excellent skill for my future as Jeopardy Champion!) and that it makes the internet "go".  So what I was going to say is this, right above the video:

"Hey!  Check out this cool video I just made!  It's short, and the transitions between pictures maybe a little motion-sickness inducing for my taste, but - I JUST MADE MY OWN FLASH VIDEO.  I DON"T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.  But I'm pretty sure I'm enjoying my new Internet Goddess Power."

Trouble is, I couldn't insert the text in my HTML field (is that what it's called?!  I just made that up.) without making the video go splllllrt.  But I do know how to make entries!  I could make new entries all day long!  I could do it in my sleep! 

Sigh.  This learning curve is a long, steep hill to climb.