System malfunction.

My Command Central is out of order today - technical difficulties, waiting on tech support, may try alcohol soon. Due to these, uh... delays... I am unable to form any cohesive block of words for you to read and be fulfilled for the rest of your days. Best I can manage is to toss you some memos from the only Departments that have bothered checking in around here lately:

From the Dept. of the Sick and the Sad:

• I'm not sure I believe in Hell, literally, so understand that I don't have any clue what I'm talking about when I tell you I'm totally going there because I thought it was the best thing in the whole world when, the other night, Riley was talking about Swiper and referred to him as "that stinky box". I know. Believe me, I know.

• Also, technically under the jurisdiction of this department is the announcement that Mason has been sickity sick all week - like, actually sick, not just mental like me. None of us are sleeping well. Woe has been greatly upon us, but things are looking up.

NEXT!

From the Dept. of Gainful Employment:

• I have a department for this? Hmm. Well, ok. Maybe I'll be forming one soon. Let's just say - Under Construction.

NEXT!

From the Dept. of There Is Something Seriously Wrong With Me:

• Yesterday as I was stringing up some lights I felt a tickle in my ear and since have been certain that a little bug crawled in there. I am now having relentless images of baby spiders streaming out of my ear in nine months (wait, how long is the spider gestation period? Looks like I need a Dept. of Useless R & D) and OMG, just typing that has made me hyperventilate. I have poured peroxide in my ear but so far have recovered no incriminating evidence. I don't want to talk about it anymore. If you are half as grossed out as I am, I am SO, SO sorry.

• I am also bothered, as I get sometimes, by what I see as blatant incorrect word usage. My victim today is Jason Mraz, who sings (and I presume wrote) (again, I need research) that lovely ditty "I'm Yours". Nice song. I sing along freely - even to the Hawaiian guys. And there's ukulele, and who doesn't love some ukulele, am I right? But - BUT! I would like to submit this stanza for your perusal:

"Listen to the music of the moment people, dance and sing
We're just one big family
And it's our God-forsaken right to be loved loved loved loved loved."

Do you know what godforsaken means? Because I know what godforsaken means. And in the famous words of the Dread Pirate Roberts, I do not think it means what Jason Mraz thinks it means. Call me, Jason. We'll work this out over coffee or something.

NEXT!

From the Dept. of So, How's Your Holiday Spirit?:

• Ok, ok. Things have been looking grim around here. Sick baby, lost a week to Thanksgiving (whyyyyyyy was it a week late this year and do you think I'll ever stop whining about it?) and have been scrambling about basically trying to hold my shit together. Well. No more. Mason is ok, and I really, really, REALLY love the holiday season. So, the attitude adjustment starts right.... now. Wait - I have to put on some appropriate music. Ok, now. I have decided that although there is a lot to do, it is all stuff that I genuinely enjoy doing, so I'm going to lose the Grinchiness and just love it. For example - tonight, after all the craziness of the week, I'd love to just curl up tonight and watch a good Christmas movie. But we have our first holiday party of the season, and I will get to see people I love seeing, and so I'm going to put on my red heels and have a good time, dammit.

I mean, come on. Don't those shoes make YOU want to have fun?

Comments

[Heidi]

oooh, your shoes! i TOTALLY want to have some fun.

also? gainful employment? hope it will not interfere with adventures in blogging.

and last, i share your concern over misuse of words! AGH! here's a pet peeve from one of my singers/writers/composers:

"Instead of screams, I swear
I can hear music in the air
The smell of cakes and pies
Are absolutely everywhere"

(Cakes and pies ARE but the smell IS.)

Ok, this is perhaps more anal than your example? And this comment is so dang long I should just post it on my own blog, tralala!

So sorry. I leave you now.

[Robyn]

Not more anal than my example... just more subtle, only to be found by true wordsmiths. And absolutely no less correct.

Don't worry - I don't intend to let any employment interfere with this highly profitable venture I have going on here. :)

[Jill]

totally digging those shoes robyn! wonder who talked you into buying them????? hmmmmmm...i wonder who! hehehehehehehehehe still as totally fabulous as the day you bought them with MEEEEE!!!!