Pocket Aces

365 days of Why Do You Even Come Here, Anyway?

I feel like there should be some big momentous something, some fireworks, some sparklers. Some clever words, at least, to mark my One Year Blogiversary. See?

Oh, look, it seems I wasn't very big on the clever words then, either. Honestly, it's beyond me how I've even managed to attract the 3 or 4 crazy people - er, awesome readers - that frequent my boring life.

Maybe it's the tongue?

 

I can't fathom any other possible reason.

Not so old.

 

Look! It's me. I promise. Taken just two days ago. Not a foot in sight. 

So, yes. Today I declare it NEW PHOTO TUESDAY. And all the people in all the lands rejoiced. The End. 

(OPT will be back next week.) 

One word only.

Hello. It's a cold, rainy, lazy day over here, and I was a bit rough on myself this weekend, so LAZY is the word of the day. SOCKS would also be a good word, but unfortunately LAZY beat it to the finish line. Sorry, SOCKS.

So, what's a lazy girl to do with her blog when she's got nothing to say? When it's beginning to look like every day is her husband's birthday? When she doesn't even have the energy to write her little thesis on that awesome motor oil fight scene* in The Transporter? She does what she has to. She does a meme.

One word responses only, please. That's what I was told - otherwise the meme police will take your firstborn. But hey - did you know it can be hard to limit oneself to one word? News to me, I tell you. As usual, I will not be tagging. Instead, I tell anyone who wants to play along to do this on your own blog and link it here in the comments. Here we go!

1. Where is your cell phone?    Purse

2. Your significant other?      Marc

3. Your hair?       Hat

4. Your mother?   Fun  

5. Your father?   Smart

6. Your favorite thing?  Laughter

7. Your dream last night?    Hazy

8. Your favorite drink?   Coke

9. Your dream/goal?    Happiness

10. What room you're in?   Basement

11. Your hobby?    Photography

12. Your fear?     Loss

13. Where do you want to be in 6 years?  Here

14. Where were you last night?  Bed

15. Something that you aren't?    Perfect

16. Muffins?   Love

17. Wish list item?    Discipline

18. Where you grew up?   Midwest

19. Last thing you did?    Diaper

20. What are you wearing?   Jeans

21. Your TV?     Nemo

22. Your pets?     Gone

23  Friends?   Lots

24.  Life?   Lucky

25. Your mood?    Lazy

26. Missing someone?  Jessica

27.  VEHICLE?   Explorer

28.  You're not wearing?     Makeup

29. Your favorite store?    Bookstore

30. Favorite Holiday?    Christmas

31. Your favorite time?    Fall

32. Your favorite color?     Red

33. When is the last time you laughed?    Yesterday

34. Last time you cried?    Unknown

35. One place that I go to over and over:   Martins

36. One person who emails me regularly:  Sean

37. My favorite place to eat:      Charleston

38. One place I would like to go right now:    Louisiana

39. One person I think will respond:      You

40. One TV show I watch all the time:    Jeopardy!

 

*What's that? You want to know what motor oil fight scene I'm talking about? Oh, stop. You know you've seen it. You don't have to be so coy - just come out and say you want to see it again. It's ok - say it. Robyn knows. Robyn understands. Robyn gives, because Robyn cares.

 

What's he gonna do with the BIKE?, you wonder. Who knew bicycle foot clip thingies were such multitaskers? Traction for when you find yourself in a pool of oil, AND something hard to kick out your enemy's teeth. AWESOME.

38

 

Today is Marc's birthday. This photo of him was taken not on his birthday, but on the birthday of his first baby - March 18, 2005. It's one of my favorites.

Tonight? His favorite meal - pot roast, mashed potatoes, corn, gravy. Yellow cake with chocolate frosting. Meltdown at dinner, then sighing and shaking our heads because isn't that just life, and don't we just love it anyways? We do. Like we all love him.

Watching Chuck, which has my undying love. And then Heroes, at which I am frowning. Reading in bed. A good night, a good year. All good.

Happy Birthday, baby.

Fried food makes the people come together.

I've always read about the Tuscan tradition of eating squash blossoms, but had never come across any to try. Until, that is, I found a bunch in the pumpkin patch. After checking with the owner (who hadn't heard of fried squash blossoms, and therefore did not know of the wonderful bounty right there in his pumpkin patch), I made off with a bagful.

 

Egg wash, light flour and parmesan cheese batter. A little kosher salt. Lovely.

 

Make sure and save a handful of parmesan for sprinkling. You MUST sprinkle.

 

If this isn't a unifier, I don't know what is. Maybe I'll write it in on the ballot. You know, I can fiercely argue politics and still want to give the person I'm arguing with a hug when I'm done, provided I liked that person to begin with. But if this is too fried, too decadent, too weird for you? Well. I'm not sure we can ever truly understand one another.

The discussion begins.

Two fantastic, brave souls have responded to me so far. Heidi and Kate, thank you sincerely for saying things I disagree with (and for disagreeing with me!) in such kind, respectful ways. But of course, I have a few things to say about your arguments. Remember, nothin' but love for y'all, nothin' but love.

Um, did I mention that I am sincere? Ok, then. (See what I mean about wanting everyone to be happy? It's an illness, people. SEND HELP.)

An excerpt from Heidi's response:

"Here's what I think about abortion. I think it's murder. I can't imagine ever choosing to have one. I don't think anyone has the right to take anyone else's life (which also means I'm against the death penalty). BUT. I'm pro-choice. My reasoning is that although I can SAY I'd never want/have one, I really can't understand the choices that other women make until I have walked in their shoes. I think abortion is most often a choice made out of desperation. I think it is and should be a last resort."

Your response is the one I hear most frequently. I hear people say, "Abortion is terrible. It's a choice I'd never make for myself." It seems to me, from my inexact count of my nonexistent show-of-hands, that most people agree that abortion is terrible. My question, then, is why should we condone it? Respectfully, you contradict yourself here, as I feel all who make this argument do. You "don't think anyone has the right to take anyone else's life", but... you obviously do think a subset of our population has that right. But who? Should I have to show up at the abortion clinic with track marks in my arm or leaves in my hair from sleeping on the sidewalk to prove that I am desperate? What exactly is desperate enough? And who gets to decide?

I wish I could agree with you that "abortion is most often a choice made out of desperation" and that it "is... a last resort". Unfortunately, I don't.

Some excerpts from Kate:

"You asked if you are "missing a logical link" in the pro-choice argument. Here is the most logical link I can think of: abortion MUST remain legal because making it illegal isn't going to end abortion, it's just going to make it more dangerous and costly for the women who WILL get them."

I'm just going to take a deep breath and put this out there. I understand that it will make it more dangerous and costly for the women who will still get them. And I don't think that's reason enough to condone genocide.

Wait, what? Yes. I said genocide. According to the CDC, 839,226 abortions occurred in 2004 (the last year of collected data). More than 45 million abortions have taken place in the US since 1973 (citation here). Hey, turns out the Nazis have nothing on us. If they wanted to eliminate a lot of people, they should have gone in utero. Lot less messy that way, don't you think?

"If we want to reduce the number of abortions in this country, birth control should be FREE and available in every grocery store, mall, high school and probably jr. high in this country. (Oh yes I did just say that.) You should be able to get condoms on every street corner, in a box right next to the New York Times. For FREE. And a woman (or girl) should be able to go to a clinic and get birth-control pills for FREE."

I agree with this. All of it.

"Can any loving, compassionate person really tell me that a 12 year old girl who has been raped by her father should be required to carry to term a baby that resulted from that abuse?? To have to hang her head in shame, drop out of 7th grade and have her life ruined forever? Of course not. Is the life of that unborn baby (I'll refrain from using the word fetus) more important than hers??"

No, I'm not going to tell you that. I will ask, however, why the life of the unborn baby is LESS important than hers? Truthfully, though, I'm not completely in favor of making abortion illegal for rape/incest victims. I'm uncomfortable with this, as I feel two wrongs do not make a right, but I do have compassion and I feel that rape victims are just that - victims. If anybody should have the right to control what's going on in their bodies, it's them.

"In a perfect world there would be no need for abortion; no rape, no incest, no 16 year old who couldn't afford birth control or who couldn't ask for her parent's permission to get on the pill. Until we address the real issues, abortion will be, unfortunately, way too common."

Yes, let's talk about the real issues, as I see them. Let's talk about our culture's reverence for convenience, for instant gratification. For lawsuits - the more, the better. Nothing is anybody's fault anymore, and it pisses me off.

Who is really desperate, and who is uncomfortable with the idea of their life changing, becoming harder, because of a choice they've made? Who is so desperate that they coudn't resist a little down-and-dirty time?

Let's stop and look at what we're teaching our teens, our children. By condoning abortion, we are teaching irresponsibility. We're teaching them that do-overs are their right. And if we teach them that not all lives are valuable, how are we going to have any success teaching them that their life IS?

Look, I'm not preaching abstinence, nor am I in favor of teaching abstinence in schools. What I AM for is teaching that sex, even protected sex, has consequences. Real, life-changing consequences. It's a natural law that, try as we might with our science and our "enlightened" thinking, the human race cannot completely nullify. I'm for teaching kids (and adults) that life is not disposable, and that life doesn't always offer a mulligan when you mess up. Every one of us, and every one of our children, needs to know that no life is any less, or more, valuable or precious than their own.

Wait. I think that's so important, I'm going to say it again. Every one of us, and every one of our children, needs to know that no life is any less, or more, valuable or precious than their own.

Sounds like something somebody might have said about slavery once, doesn't it?

But will you still braid my hair?

I've started a post on my current conundrums regarding the upcoming election, and then deleted it, and started again, and still it sits in my draftbox, unposted, mostly because I start wondering who really cares to read my political opinions (which I answer myself with, "Hey, it's my blog.") but also because I don't enjoy the idea of offending anybody. It's been a lifelong flaw of mine that I care entirely too much of what others think. I like the people around me to be comfortable. I do not like fights - at least, I don't like fights that I am a part of. So really, I said to myself, shouldn't I just leave this alone?

But I can't help it. I want to have the discussion.

I want to talk about abortion.

Let me back up a bit, and give you some brief background. First, I am not religious. In fact, I'm pretty anti-religion. That being said, I'm not anti-faith. And I'm not an atheist. Second, I have, in the past, typically considered myself a Republican. Sure, the Religious Right irritated me, but I was down with what I saw the main tenets of the party's platform to be: fiscal responsibility, personal responsibility, less government. Work hard, and deserve what you earn. Help others when they need it. Live a good life, and leave others to do the same. I didn't like the party's attitude toward gay rights or all that school prayer bullshit, but the bigger issues were enough to solidify it for me.

In a few weeks, I'm voting for Barack Obama. Not because I'm now a Democrat - I'm not. I'm not sure I can stress enough how much I'M NOT. But I can't really call myself a Republican anymore, either. Not because I think Obama is going to save us all from our DOOOOOMED future - he's not, partly because he's just a dude, and mostly because we're not doomed. I don't know who's right on the economy - I figure all of our taxes are going to be raised for a while no matter who's in the Oval Office. I finally swung to Obama because I think McCain's wrong on health care and foreign policy. Also, McCain never told the Religious Right to get the hell out of policy and lawmaking, which disappointed me, because I really thought he might be the guy to do it. Then again, Obama never did it either.

But I digress. There have been two main reasons I have been reluctant to vote for Barack Obama. The first is the attitude of many of his supporters. The second is that I'm not interested in siding with the pro-choice movement.

Here's the part where I get kicked out of the slumber party, and dammit, I've never been good at braiding my own hair.

Let me be clear. I'm not ok with the subjugation of women. I don't think we should all be back in the kitchen (though I DO think the feminist movement did a bit too much to give pregnant women in the kitchen a bad rap). I'm all for women - no, EVERYONE, because we want to be seen as equal, don't we? - being able to do whatever the fuck they want to do with their lives, with their bodies, with their minds and spirits. With their hair, and cars, and iPods.

But, wait. Aren't we forgetting something important? Ohhh, that's right. We're not supposed to harm others. Or is it what we're not supposed to harm others, unless those others are ours to harm? Is that how it works? I mean, we passed laws against stealing, and even fucking insider trading, and I'm pretty sure it's illegal to kill others. Except in the case of unborn children, who have the gall to require some support for their first nine months.

Ok. Before I wander too far down the path of sarcastic anger, I really do wish to open this discussion. To present a question to the pro-choicers out there, I know, rampant in the blogiverse. I have been around this and around this in my head. Sometimes I'm ready to throw in the towel and say, "What do I care if other people have abortions? I'm a live-and-let-live girl. Can't I just let it go?". In response, I ask myself two more questions:

• "What do I care if you have trailers parked in your yard, eat different food than me, go to church?"  My response: I don't care. Not a bit.

• "What do I care if you beat your kid?" My response: Hey, now. Of course I care. Everyone cares.

My point is this: I can't let it go because it's wrong. From all the angles I look at it, it's wrong. And I have to wonder if I'm missing something, some logical link in the argument that all the sisterhood out there understands yet I have not been privy to.

Am I? I truly hope to get some honest and open discussion of this in the comments, if only from one or two people. Or maybe nobody will wish to touch this, and I will be left to alternately rant and flounder all by my lonesome. Either way, this is easily the most serious I've ever gotten on my blog, and I guess that's worth something.

Disclaimer #1: If I get comments that I am planning to respond to, I will probably post those comments and my responses in a new post - unless you ask me not to.

Disclaimer #2: I am not talking about medically necessary abortions. Just so we're clear.

A kinder, gentler style.

It appears my unexplainable hip-hop phase is coming to a close.

The songs I love this week:

"Already Gone", Sugarland  (Sorry for the lame ringtone ad - it was all I could find that would embed. Hmph.)

"Come On Get Higher", Matt Nathanson

Goodbye summer, Part II

As previously stated, here's Ocean City, MD - mid August.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And much like these photos of children running at dusk, it was all a blur. A really fun, really noisy, often sticky with ice cream running down your chin type of blur. See ya next year, Summer.

Goodbye, summer.

**Edited to clarify any photographic images that may or may not be me.**

Fall is officially here, and I'm starting to collect the photos to prove it. Before I can post any of them, however, I have to finish off summer. I'm gonna go chronologically, and probably won't work all my faves into one post.

First, let's finish off Vero Beach, FL - end of July.

 

Her first pigtails! It was a very big deal. I'm pretty sure that means college starts next week. Also, despite there being a visible foot in the shot, this is not me. It's my sister.

 

Also my sister.

 

Hey! This one IS me! Don't say I never show off for y'all!

 

None of those people are me.

 

Still not me.

 

Try and think really hard about this one. "Let's see... there are feet, so it might be her. But there is leg, which I doubt she'd show, since she's obviously a big scaredy-ass."

Answer? Yeah. It's me. Look at me getting brave with the ankle baring.

 

Though I have been topless on a beach in the past, this one's not me.

 

 

 

These last three? Not me. They're my sister. She's pretty and everything, but I discovered she doesn't take fantastic low-light beach photos. (Sorry, Jill.) So apparently, I DO have to do everything around here.

 

I'm very, very tempted to say this is me, if only it could get me out of having to ever post a photo of myself. What do you think? Would you fall for it?

Up next - Ocean City, MD.