Somebody asked me for my chicken salad recipe recently, and I get significantly more flattered than I should when things like that happen. I mean, if somebody wants my chicken salad recipe, then it must be the best chicken salad recipe in the world. And if I do have the best chicken salad in the world, then I must be a genius of epic proportions who never dresses poorly and will probably also cure cancer someday. Wouldn't you like my autograph?
Anyway, when my friend received my chicken salad instructions, he said that I should consider posting it, because it is - AND I QUOTE - "informative and damned entertaining". Much like myself, in my own mind. Obviously this friend does not get out much, but we're not going to point and laugh about that just now. Maybe later. So here's the recipe, such as it is. Be warned - when I feel flattered and smart, I use a lot of words. I can't help it.
ROBYN'S BEST CHICKEN SALAD IN THE WORLD
No amounts I give are exact - I just do everything to my own taste, and you should do the same. Ok doke? Ok doke.
- 6 chicken breasts (you can do boneless skinless if you must, but you will really get better moisture and flavor with skin-on, bone-in. You will just pull the meat off after it's done cooking and there will be no skin or bone to be found anywhere in the salad, so don't be afraid of this. Please?)
- Black peppercorns
- Salt (kosher is best - sea salt is a viable alternative. God will not smite you if you just have regular Mortons - I will just pretend to know nothing about it.)
- Some garlic cloves (you only need one bulb, but you probably won't use the whole thing)
- Bay leaves (dried)
- Thyme (fresh, not dried)
- A medium jar of Miracle Whip (I use Light and think the flavor is the same either way, but use whichever you're happier with. But don't even think of using fat free.)
- 1 bunch of green onions
- Green grapes are optional. So is celery. I don't really like them in it. More on this later.